Dad makes 17-year-old's room into guest room, takes offence when he doesn't want to sleep on air mattress during exam week: 'During school, I'm exhausted'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
May 9, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

Divorced parents are a difficult thing for kids to deal with at any age, and often things only get more complicated if they choose to remarry. The situation doesn't always get less confusing as they get older, either; plenty of teen angst stems from dealing with the fallout of living between houses and dealing with the drama that can ensue from parents and stepparents who seem to exist solely to make life difficult.

From a parental standpoint, there is an unfortunate number of divorced and remarried moms and dads who are more than willing to neglect their children in favor of their new lives. However, many kids understandably act up against this, especially when they are in their teens and becoming more independent and aware of the family dynamics they might be subject to that are unfair. It can be difficult to stand up to a parent who is behaving inappropriately.

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    Cheezburger Image 10503483648
    via Sébastien Mouilleau

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • One teenager did this when he reached his limit while staying over at his dad's house. His father and his stepmother had converted his room at their house into a guest room, meaning he had to sleep on an air mattress when the room was occupied.

    His dad asked him to visit when his grandparents were coming over, meaning he had to sleep on the mattress. It was a week at school where he had exams, and after one night of bad sleep, he insisted on returning to his mom's, where he had a bedroom. His dad was upset, and he wanted to know if he was wrong in his actions.

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    AITA for leaving my dad’s house a day early?

    First I'd like to add some context. I 17M have divorced parents who have shared custody over me. About a year ago, my step mom and my dad decided to turn my bedroom into the guest bedroom without asking me first. So, whenever there are guests over I sleep on an air mattress. So, my paternal grandparents were coming over for the week and my dad asked if I'd leave my moms and come over for a few days to spend time with them. The thing is, I'd never done the air mattress situation on a school week,
    via Chadler1708
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    So it's night 1 and as expected I do not sleep very well. I was tossing and turning most of the night and generally felt uncomfortable being on the floor on the basement. As I wake up, I go to make my lunch and such and come to see that there is nothing to use to make a lunch so decided to just not pack anything. Of course, during school I'm exhausted and hungry so I decided that I would spend the rest of that afternoon and evening with my grandparents before driving back to my mom's.
    via Chadler1708
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    So, I tell my dad what I wanted to and he got angry with me and told me that the right thing to do would be to sk it up but if I wanted to I could. So, I spend all afternoon and evening with my dad, step mom and grandparents until they go to bed and I told him I was leaving. I told my dad I was leaving soon and told me that my stepmom just had bought food for lunches. So I asked if he wanted me to stay the extra night but he said he guess it was okay. Anyway, I pack all my stuff up to go back my
    via Chadler1708
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    People sympathized with the position that he was in.

    NTA. Your dad's house isn't big enough for you and for guests. If it were big enough, there'd be enough beds for everyone. This is because of your dads and stepmoms choices. They could've put a bed in the basement right? If there isn't enough space then that means you absolutely should be going to your mom's whenever your dad has guests, to make space for the guests and so that you can sleep in a real bed. After all, your dad and step mom aren't going to the basement to sleep on the air mattress
    via lllollllllllll
  • 07
    ladyrose403 oh hail no!!! NTA. I have a stepdaughter and her half sister so no relation to even my husband who come over every weekend usually. They both have their own room and beds. I would NEVER pull this kinda cr_p. You might want to look into not going over, them turning your room into a guest room speaks way too highly of "we don't feel like being parents anymore."
    via ladyrose403
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    NTA cinderparty You definitely need to get sleep during your final exams. Your father is acting like a child.
    via cinderparty
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    CSurvivor9 NTA. Flashbacks of my childhood coming to me. Your father is a for taking away your bedroom. That is the height of disrespect. My Dad did similar to me. It ended in a huge fight that got bad. I've never seen him since. How your father yelled at you was not okay. You should have left then. Talk to your Mom about it. You shouldn't have to bw made to sleep on airmattresses and not have lunch because your Dad's a j. Maybe stop sleeping there from now on since you don't even have a bedroom
    via CSurvivor9
  • 10
    Major_Friendship4900 Nta. Your dad and stepmom are for making your room into the guest bedroom and not providing the bare necessities for you, his minor kid.
    via Major_Friendship4900
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    Odd_Task8211 NTA. Turning your room into the guest room was a move
    via Odd_Task8211
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    lilawkward-lilfunny NTA. Your father obviously is going through something. Whatever it is, he's taking it out on you and that's absolutely not fair or okay. You did absolutely nothing wrong and don't let it bother you or make you feel bad. Ppl sometimes will take their aggression or frustration from their own lives out on others, it's common, but doesn't mean it's okay. Your Dad needs to talk to someone about this instead of bottling it up and blowing up on you.
    via lilawkward-lilfunny
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    Seed_Planter72 NTA. I don't see what your dad's problem is. you spent the evening with them, and the night before when they didn't even have a bed or food for you. To me, it's your dad who's being disrespectful and acting unreasonable. Why does he insist you spend an uncomfortable night while everyone sleeps?
    via Seed_Planter72
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    fattyboy2 NTA this is the same sh my dad pulled and he was equally surprised we didn't want to hang out at his house. Whether divorced parents want to admit it or not, kids want their own space and shared 50/50 custody often times leaves them feeling homeless, like the house is their mom's or their dad's and neither are really their own. When parents do this kind of thing, denying them a space that is really their own, they reenforce the feeling of being a "guest" at the house. It is totally nor
    via fattyboy2
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    RocketteP NTA. It seems like your dad is more content you don't have any personal space rather than you being comfortable when there are guests. You having finals should have been his priority and being rested, fed and ok is part of that.
    via RocketteP
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    NTA RazzmatazzOk2129 Sounds to me he wanted you there for some sort of performance for your grandparents. Some show of - see, he doesn't mind not having a room anymore so stop giving me sh. You leaving means they see things didn't go right. I'd also be ped he had no respect for exam week. You need your sleep to do well during the day. Same with food. It's well known hungry kids do less well in school and esp on tests. They should have had lunch food in the house. Your being there was NOT a surpr
    via RazzmatazzOk2129
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    use_your_smarts NTA. You were unable to sleep in your bedroom, it was a school week, and you have a bedroom at your mum's house. You're 17, not 7. Your dad sounds like a joy, no wonder you don't want to be there.
    via use_your_smarts
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    Fun_Skirt8220 My kid's custody agreement starts that there has to be a room for my kid in each house (his own space) - a guest room is not that. If you don't have a room in his house, is he upholding the agreement? You might want to look at the language directly.
    via Fun_Skirt8220
  • 19
    acf6b NTA he clearly doesn't view his home as yours if you don't even have a room....
    via acf6b
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    unrepentantrebel Everyone else has talked about your Dad and Step mom, but I am thinking of your grand parents. As a grand and great grand myself, I would not sleep in my grandson's bedroom, I would get a hotel room or I would buy a bed to sleep in the basement myself when I visited. I know this because I bought a bunk bed and a full bed when my step daughter married for her house so I could visit without causing too much hardship.
    via unrepentantrebel
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    Suspicious_Fox_9612 NTA your dad should want you to be comfortable. It was nice that you spent time with your grandparents. I hope you enjoyed your time with them. Some parents s k and don't prioritize their child's needs.
    via Suspicious_Fox_9612
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    Daemonxar NTA. *You* didn't do anything wrong here.
    via Daemonxar
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    ToriBethATX NTA. How close to you to 18 (or the age of majority for your state as I once learned that in some states it's 19)? If you are very close to that age, you might be able to get away with just staying with your mom when you won't have a bed available at your dad's. The thing is, if he were to try and take it back to the courts you might have aged out by the time it winds through and the case would be dropped. Even if you didn't age out yet, it would NOT look good that you don't actually
    via ToriBethATX
  • 24
    NTA sfomonkey Your father sounds like my ex. He also turned our sons bedroom into an office. This, in a 4 story home with plenty of other spaces for working. Total move. Men should not choose the current/next wife/GF over their children and expect their children to just think "oh that's fine, my father chooses someone else over me, but I still adore him". Total bs.
    via sfomonkey
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    NTA Vegetable-Cod-2340 He's the selfish one. His house isn't big enough for all of you comfortably, and it insane to ask a growing teenager to leave a nice bed to sleep on an air mattress during exam week just so he can look like a decent parent. Which is what I assume this is really about, since op was able to spend time with his grandparents and returning to his mom's place. Also way to make your son feel unwelcome. Op, your father isn't the mature person in this situation and you did the best
    via Vegetable-Cod-2340

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